SO IT BEGINS.



Man, the dogs are going to be bored out of their minds cooped up inside today.

The thing you have to understand about snow panic in Alabama is that it's not about the snow. Mostly, it's about us not being prepared for snow; a meager two inches is considered an epic blizzard. It's also about the side effects of snow--I live in a heavily-wooded suburban area full of giant, beautiful, old trees. Very old trees. And they all have dead branches here and there hanging on by a shred of bark, so when you have just enough snow to weigh them down, they break off and fall onto the power lines. Or worse, the entire tree is mostly dead and it falls across the road or onto (and usually through) your house. There was one Epic Two-Inch Snow that ended up with a three-foot-thick, forty-foot-long pine lying across our street (and in what used to be someone's sun room), while live power lines were sparking in the road. In fact, my mother reported last night that, as she was driving home, she saw a number of official-looking trucks on the side of the road, presumably stationed for speedy tree removal.

It's also about the ice. None of us know how to drive on it, because we don't get it often enough to figure out how and then retain that knowledge. One time there was a Special News Report on Safe Winter Weather Driving, and I am serious, it was, in its entirety, "Drive slow." And now, over to Jim with the sports! So basically, entire schools, businesses, and highways will be shut down for safety reasons while all of Chicago points and laughs. I am not even kidding: my sister may not be able to get to work on Friday--

Oh God. I just realized that if we are all iced in together for the next four days, a remake of The Shining is going to break out.


While we're here, a teensy bit of Twi-spam, because I am getting a lot of email about this, and also, I enjoy the progression of the headlines:

Attn. Jackson Rathbone: Missing something?

'Eclipse' Script Wasn't Leaked, Says Summit. 

Nikki Finke: Yes, That Leaked Movie Script Is 'Eclipse.' 

1. I don't want to read it. I'm to a point where I don't even watch clips of movies I know I want to see anymore. I get so bored in the theater if I feel like I've already seen the movie. 2. I suspect the wink emoticon in the script (as seen at the first link) is forced product-placement sarcasm from screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg. 3. My dazzle is somewhat chagrined that (people tell me) the werewolf-vampire nose-fist bump is not in this version of the script, because, quite honestly, the Edward/Seth stuff is the only thing I find remotely likeable about Book!Edward. Also: COME ON! WEREWOLF-VAMPIRE NOSE-FIST BUMP! If there is anything funnier than that, I can't think of it right now.

Meanwhile, I am trying to work--I got a good bit of novel note-sorting and categorizing done yesterday--but am having a hell of a time. Lots of interruptions, and I can't concentrate for shit. Also, my new calendars (50% off!) came in from Amazon yesterday, but without the books I had bought for research, and then I realized I had forgotten to order a couple of other researchy things anyway, fnarr. Also-also, I bought another pair of fingerless gloves because I was concerned that my homemade recycled ones were fraying a bit from being worn so much, and I am really hoping they arrive before the cold snap is over. This is Alabama, after all.


OH OH OH I ALMOST FORGOT I have two questions to ask you:

1) How do we get e-books from my stepfather's Kindle onto my parents' computer? They can't figure out how.

2) Those identity protection/theft-prevention services, are any of them actually any good?

I forgot to mention! New episode of Made of Fail is up. "It's like... fudge... made of out PEANUT BUTTER."

Meanwhile! Right after I posted that last entry--seriously, I hit "post" while putting on my shoes--I went out and saw Sherlock Holmes again, this time with my mother. ( More Holmesian nerditry )

(For those of you wondering when I'll ever shut up about Sherlock Holmes: IT'S NOT TWILIGHT, OKAY? So shut it and count your blessings.)

Meanwhile: omg so cold. I love it. It's already one o'clock, but it's still only 26°F, which means it only gets colder from here. In fact, we've got snow predicted for Thursday. The dogs are bored out of their minds because I won't let them stay outside longer than ten minutes at a time; I'm under a fleece blanket (NOT A SNUGGIE) in the den at my laptop, and I had to put on my huge floor-length coat and my gloves just to take them out front. (I do have a pair of full-coverage gloves, but I put on my favorites just because they are pretty: fingerless gloves recycled from toesocks, because a hole got into one of the toes, and they were too awesome to throw away. Bonus photo feature: My stubby little hobbit hand.)




(Speaking of accessories: the purse I decided on, because it's simple, and the grey-on-black paisley is interesting but casual. I'm going to try to fix my faux Fendi for more stylish occasions, but this looks like a good everyday bag. And it's from Etsy, yay.)

And I think I had something else to mention but I can't remember what but I'm sure I will later. Very busy, tons of work, trying to alternate footnotes with novel-writing, yay.

As a follow-up to the Sherlock Holmes movie discussion entry, I feel like I should clarify that I don't actually think Holmes and Watson were doing it although I can absolutely see why you might. (And the movie might agree with you. Commenters pointed out that there were lines from Irene in the trailer ("They've been flirting for hours" and "Will you two just kiss and make up?") that got cut from the movie, as well as a line in the original script where Mary tells Holmes that Watson's "heart is generous. He has room for both of us." Also, Robert Downey Jr. apparently pissed off Doyle's estate by suggesting that Holmes might be "a very butch homosexual.") I am simply saying that they are in love, love, looooooove. It is not for me to specify the nature of that love; I can only point to the GIGANTIC BLATANT IMMENSITY of it.

(I should also note that the words "Satan," "Satanic," and "devil" are never mentioned in the movie, as far as I remember. ( Spoilers? )

I also spent a good bit of yesterday afternoon rereading the first two Holmes novels, A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of the Four. ( Reading recommendations )

( Back to the movie )

So, as my longtime people know, I am a huuuuuuuuge Sherlock Holmes fan. I have all of the short stories and the novels, annotated, and I was obsessed with the Granada series as a young teen, and I worship at the Holy Church of Jeremy Brett, so on and so forth. In fact, Brett is so thoroughly the perfect Holmes to me--and the one-hour format was so nicely suited to the cozy little short stories where not a whole lot happens--that I just said, what the hell. The movie looks like so much fun, I don't even care. It's got great people--believe it or not, Jude Law is actually really good casting for the younger Watson of the early stories. And he was IN an episode of the Granada series!--and Guy Ritchie'll bring something interesting to it, if nothing else, so: I have already had the "perfect" Sherlock Holmes experience; let's have a fun new one.  

( Spoilers, my dear Watson )

Party peoples of the internet! What are you doing tonight?

Why hello there, Twilight Zone marathon.

So that's pretty much all I'll be doing today and tonight, and I am perfectly content with this. One New Year's Eve, I had to work the late shift at the video store; a couple of years later, I ended up being driven "home" to school by a bartender at 5:30 am, through (of all things, here in Alabama) a heavy snowfall, back to a dorm that was technically closed for the holidays so that my friends and I could sneak back in. This, after one friend spent the latter part of the evening throwing up into a party hat. I'm just saying--New Year's Eve at home: not such a bad thing.

(I will also be on the hunt for a new purse, as the handle on my old one, the frustratingly complicated and bepocketed Fendi spy bag knockoff, broke a while back. I want something a bit smaller, black, simple but cute--"stylish," if I can manage it. Oh, and inexpensive. I went to Etsy, got 20,000 search results, and ran away. Suggestions?)

I have absolutely no resolutions, by the way. I like the initial pep-talk excitement of making them, but they never, ever go anywhere. I mean, you've seen me do this before with self-imposed deadlines--I talk a good, rousing talk, and then nothing ever goes anywhere. I know this about myself: setting hard goals works for a lot of people, but it just does not personally work for me, probably because I psych myself out so easily. The only way I ever accomplish anything is by not trying and not expecting. "Follow your bliss," as the man said. So I know there are things I would like to do or improve within myself, but... the only way to do that is pretend they're not there, like a child playing peekaboo. Hey, whatever works.


P.S. There will be Woodchuck.

Peoples of the internet! So I have read over your de-stressing suggestions--a lot of them were what I expected, but I was curious as to what people would recommend most often, and also the more unusual suggestions. (This is related, but I'll go ahead and ask up front where people will see it: does anyone have BPAL/TAL imps of Milk & Honey and/or Blinding Glory of Love they'd be willing to sell me? I kind of want to put off buying entire bottles at $25 each until I've tried them, and also, until I have the second e-book out.) So, I present to you some--not all, but some--of y'all's suggestions, with additions of my own where applicable:

( Read more... )

Peoples of the internet! I have another question. Stress relief methods: do you have them? Because my blood pressure is currently Not Happy, and I can tell it's an emotional thing--my doctor has told me that I have surprisingly good blood pressure usually, and the onset of this is sudden enough that--well. I won't get into the whole mess, but it's emotional, and I need to figure out a way to counteract that.

Peoples of the internet! Bring unto me the After Christmas Sales. I hear Lush has a huge one?